-my dad would rather drink than be in his daughters life
-my mother goes day to day trying to support me the best she can
-my uncle is a drunk who doesnt want to admit he is.
-the rest of my family is screwed up and dysfunctional.
-my best friend since middle school wont talk to me and icfeel like were drifting apart and she doesnt even want to be my friend when I need her the most now.
-a majoirty of my friends live too fsr from me n I can’t drive to them.
-they a bunch of druggies
-I dont trust her like I should after a year and almost two months.
-im constantly worried shes gonna cheat on me
-im constantly worried shell break up with me
-she wont tell her family about us because were “not as serious” yet she says she loves me and talks about our kids all the time
-she never listens to me when I tell her how beautiful she rly is.
-she wont give up smoking completely even for me
-ever since she got a job I hardly ever see her
-even though ive lost all my weight im still not happy with my looks (saggy skin, stretch marks)
-my hormones are making me so crazy
-im hapoy one minute crying the next happy again then depressed
-I think about self harming n suicide too much
Im a fucking mess.
my blog will make you smile ♡
Fathers day is just as hard for me as it is for those whos fathers are dead. Just in my case im the dead one. Im dead to my father. Im not important. I dont exist. I dont get to be a daddys girl and have someone chase the boys away. I cant go behind my moms back n ask daddy for something. I dont get to have that father daughter relationship. I hurt just as bad if not worse, my fathers still alive just chooses not to be in my life. So yes im allowed to have a bad day.
Wish ididnt so I could walk away and not be in absolute utter pain n misery. I wish I could leave and be happy again. But I cant
Instead I sit crying because of her.